Sunday, June 17, 2012

What's Hard



I decided to write a blog while I am serving in the Peace Corp for a couple of reasons.  First, I wanted a way to stay connected to family and friends without having to send lots of emails that people may or may not want.  Second, before I came I was reading some blogs from people who are in the group ahead of mine.
It was interesting to see the changes in some of their thinking and in how their experience was as time went on.  I figured I too would go through changes throughout my time in Thailand and I wanted to be able to look back on it for myself.
I don’t think I have shared much about what is hard being in a different culture.
So, here are a few things that have been challenging and still quite often are.

It is hard to be in a group of people and not have any idea what the conversation is about.  This is often true at lunch break at school.  The teachers use this time to visit, probably complain a little, share funny stories and keep up with each other.  Sometimes one of my co-teachers will translate some of the conversation, but that gets hard for them too.  So I often sit in a group and have no way to be a part of it because of language.  It is hard to be in a meeting at school and hear my name, have people look at me and have no idea what is expected of me by way of acknowledgement or reply.
There is one woman who lives next door who I know I would like to be more neighborly with, and again no way to say much beyond hello, how are you and it is so hot today.  I felt this especially with Kanya in Singburi.  When we shopped together we often picked out the same thing and she felt free to tell me no when I picked something she didn’t like and we always laughed together.  I am sure we could be good friends if.......
Culturally, the Thais are totally group oriented.  I have been asked many, many times if I live alone and when I say yes, they ask if I am afraid or just look at me with pity.  My first night at homestay in Ban Serm, 2 teenagers came up to my room and told me they would stay with me and be my friends.  I had gone upstairs to be alone and read.
When I moved, one co-teacher said I could not get internet at my house because it was too expensive and I couldn’t afford it.  She wanted to get me a key to the school so I could go there whenever I wanted to.  I was told to put an “out of order” sign on a leaky faucet in my bathroom rather than getting it fixed because it would cost a lot of money.
We decided on a date for teacher training in April and 2 weeks before it was supposed to happen (in June) the date changed.  Nothing was planned or done and they could not understand that changing the date made a big difference to some of the volunteers who were supposed to come and help.  We will see how it goes on 6/25.
It is very hard for most of us to be dependent on others the majority of the time.  I can shop for many things in the village, but at least once a month I need to go to Tesco to stock up on some of the things I can’t get here and I can’t take the bus to go and buy milk.  Today it took 4 hours to travel home by bus and it is a little less than 2 hours by car.  Lots of waiting and it’s hot and I have no idea when the bus is coming.  While I was waiting outside a shop where someone does facials, she told me the busses don’t run as often on Sunday and that was what was taking so long.  She also invited me to sit on her bench and she turned the fan facing me and talked to me.  I was trying not to call for a ride and it was hard to sit in the sun, sweat and wait.  But, the bus came and I got home and I suppose I need to get used to it.  Maybe I’ll come home a much more patient person.

So, being in a foreign land in a small, farming village can be lonely and boring and peaceful and rewarding all at the same time.  One of my PCV friends reminds me often that it is about cultural exchange and we are hopefully representing America well.  I hope so too because the Thais watch EVERYTHING you do!  I think that is part of being in a culture that is much more focused on relationships than results.



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