Coming Home

I’ve known for a while that life can throw all of us curves we didn’t see coming.  I am ending my Peace Corps service early because of one of those curves.  So here is my reflection on leaving Thailand.

What started me thinking about writing this reflection was looking out my kitchen window this morning and seeing things differently than I did a few months ago and receiving messages from my fellow volunteers who I also saw so differently a year ago.

Last May when I moved into this house, I would look out the window and see people walking by who were looking at me.  Usually, when I smiled and said “sa wat dii ka” I got a smile in return but sometimes they laughed at me.  My Thai language skills are not the best.   People will laugh and giggle or  they will tell me that I speak very, very well.  I don’t know why they react in a variety of ways, but I do know that I see it all differently now.  Last year I was nervous all the time.  My guard was up because it was all so new and I was trying to be ready for anything.  Now, I am pretty relaxed and look out to see people going about their daily activities and I smile easily and accept the barking dogs and loud music and motorcycles and cows and chickens and ants and toads and every once in a while a snake.  

What I realize is that I have changed.  I got to live in a totally different culture for over a year.  I have learned my strengths and weaknesses and fears and faith. 

I can now sit among Thais and not understand the conversation, but be part of the group and if there is something I need to know, they will make sure I understand.

I have formed precious friendships with volunteers who are so much younger than me.  During training last year, it could be very lonely and difficult.  I did not feel especially close to anyone and had some fears about being really, really alone in Thailand.  That would have been a disaster as I quickly found I needed to be with other Americans on a regular basis.  The group in Nong Khai has been beyond what I could have wished for.  These people have become a family and we talk about where we might meet up in the states.

Lucky for me, they all like Colorado! I have also gotten to know many other volunteers and appreciate their amazing characters and the wonderful spirits they have shared so freely.

I have tremendous respect and gratitude for the Peace Corps and especially for the staff in Thailand.  They are so good at their jobs and have been supportive, encouraging, while letting us find our own way in our various sites.

I am now comfortable traveling by bus, tuk-tuk, bike, and sometimes I just have to ask for a ride in someone’s car.  But I know I can get where I want to go and can find a way to communicate with the Thai people.  A little effort and a smile is usually all it takes to engage help from a stranger.

All the lessons that I cherish have come from experience, stepping out of my comfort zone (because I had to), saying a prayer and taking a risk.  I have been rewarded with unbelievable kindness and cherished memories.    

There are a few activities planned before I leave on March 10^th, so expect some pictures soon.