Friday, February 8, 2013

Hump


Just when I think I have made it over “the hump”, I find out I haven’t and don’t really know what “the hump” is.  At first I thought it was getting to site and knowing where I would do my Peace Corps Service.  Then, I thought it was once school started, then when language got easier, then with more time, then after the holidays.  All of those milestones have been significant, but I am still not “acculturated”.  
Living has gotten so, so much easier.  I can get most of what I need by myself now, what I need has changed, but that is probably part of the process.  I have friends in the village and I feel like a part of the school communities and accepted by the villagers.  Language is still a challenge, but many people know some English and I know some Thai and we can have brief, superficial conversations that feel okay.  I have a few PCV friends who I have come to love and we support each other well and consistently. 
So why now is there a feeling of being disconnected?  It seems to have come from nowhere and all of a sudden I feel like I am not making a contribution and wonder what my purpose here is.  The funny part of that is that I don’t especially want to go home right now either.  I miss home and family and friends, but I have come to really love many things here too. 
As promised by Peace Corps "Peace Corps service is the hardest job I have every loved."   

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